The Pain

personalThis morning, I sat on my bed, head-in-hands and relived the worst sleepless night in longest memory. In many ways, I felt like the over-the-hill, heavyweight fighter that just stepped out of the ring with the world champ. It hurt like hell now but I knew it would be far worse three days later when the pain settled. I rose from bed and took my first halting steps. I hung my head. My muscles ached but the worst part was how my mind burned. I felt like a three time widower with a streak of bad luck. There was nothing I could do. There never is. It happened, it’s over and it is time to move on. The problem I’m having is that I’m just not sure if I can stomach the incessant introduction over the next 12 months of the New York Yankees as World Champions. I guess I won’t show my pain. They would enjoy that. The bastards.

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personalJust yesterday, I spent hours evaluating the prospective careers of total strangers. I didn’t know whether their talent was good or bad, marketable or not. I just had my own opinions. I watched with intense interest at these individuals successes and failures. I was amused by each of their reactions to power. When someone assumes that they know everything it is incredibly corrupting. Give people power and they forget how to lead. They bully instead. You can see it plain as day, everyday. They start to believe their own press clippings. It was a lesson in the human psyche.

I refer, of course, to the season finale of Hell’s Kitchen where Chef Dave overcame injury and terrible odds to outplay and out cook Kevin and Ariel for the head chef job at Araxi Restaurant in Whistler, British Columbia. I am going to miss watching the invective breathing Gordon Ramsay. He pushed everyone on the show. His intent wasn’t to break the novice chefs but to stretch them to their limits, to get them to be their best. It’s a style and it isn’t for everyone but it seems to work wonders for him.

Thankfully, there are a few more episodes of Top Chef to keep me occupied.

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personal

It was time to write this story. It has bothered me for so long that I need it off my chest once and for all. This is the (very) brief accounting of what happened to my partner and my purchase of Hamilton Hall.

Sometime in 2004, my business partner and I  submitted  the winning bid to buy Hamilton Hall from the University of St Andrews. While we were clever enough to recognize a great building, we had no real estate development experience. Our cleverness ended there when we failed to select the right partner. We are responsible for bringing this wonderful, Victorian landmark to Wasserman Real Estate Capital (WREC). That was our grave error.

3-St Andrews Grand

Hamilton Hall

While the possibility of a economic score seemed possible and probable, our primary concern was that the project was done properly and with consideration for St Andrews, Scotland and the world of golf. If this happened, everything else would take care of itself. We were, after all, homeowners in the town and long time visitors to St Andrews and Scotland. Although Hamilton Hall has many constituencies, this was completely lost on WREC. Until the time of purchase, the WREC principles had been to Scotland once and that was on a boondoggle hosted by Bentley Motor Cars. Seeing Scotland through the eyes of a luxury automobile company hardly qualifies one to develop one of Scotland’s most important and iconic buildings. In retrospect, Wasserman Real Estate Capital wasn’t remotely qualified to develop this building. They didn’t have the necessary capital, the knowledge or the experience to turn this into a success for all. They expected it to sell itself. And while this is not a viable strategy, it almost did sell itself.

For months on end, I sounded like a broken record. “It’s a great building but what are we selling,” I asked repeatedly. “When people/members arrive here, what type of experience are we delivering to them?” I was not alone. In the course of 18 months, WREC hired and fired not less than 11 sales/marketing/public relations companies, all of whom were saying exactly the same thing. This was not a good message to send to the marketplace. Deadline after deadline was missed. Bills weren’t paid or were delayed indefinitely. Lies were the order of the day. David Wasserman  would constantly tell us that if we got more members to sign up, then we could spend money on marketing material and amenities. I have email after email where he would blame everyone but himself for the lack of sales. Yet, he said he would handle the sales exclusively. But think about this for one second, how can a project be set up for success if sales were needed to drive the expenditure for marketing materials? David Wasserman ensured his own failure and those around him.

His lips are moving......

His lips are moving...

Today, the building stands vacant, a shell of its former glory as the Grand Hotel. Nothing has been done for over two years. I remember hosting a series of cocktail parties at my home in St Andrews where David Wasserman presented his plan to the local citizens. Not one word of his plan ever came to fruition. He constantly told people that work would begin, only for that deadline to uneventfully expire.

I couldn’t be more sad about a project that started with so much promise. I am convinced that in the right hands, this project would have not only worked but flourished. Now, it is the perfect Harvard Business School case study…for what not to do. I do not expect WREC to be the lead developer on anything that goes forward with this project. They don’t have the resources. Their professional staff has left and the bank holds the mortgage for the total of the purchase price. Shortly, the bank will determine the future of this wonderful building by announcing its new owner.

Though I am sad that I am no longer involved in my dream project, I am thrilled to hear that the building will be resold. My fondest hope is that  Hamilton Hall’s new ownership understands the building’s importance to the town, Scotland and the world of golf.  This grand building deserves to be restored to its former glory and once again be a source of great pride for the people of St Andrews.

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Public Declamation

personalOne of the time honored traditions of Boston Latin School, where I went to High School, is public declamation. I wrote about this once before here. Three times a years, pupils in the 7th-10th grade had to recite a poem or prose, committed to memory, in front of their English class. If the teacher thought it was one of the best, you had the opportunity to compete in the school wide assembly. In retrospect, it was a great way to learn public speaking. In many ways, picking the right poem/prose was like selecting the right song on American Idol.  If performed badly in front of the class, or worse yet – in front of the entire school, you were done. Toast. Finis. As a result, I always selected my recitations with great care. First I Look at the Purse, the Smokey Robinson/Robert Rodgers tune, was one of my favorites and best received. I also loved Rudyard Kipling’s work, which clearly is a far cry from Smokey. Kipling’s Gunga Din was great fun to recite because of the cockney dialect that you could use in its delivery. But one of Kipling’s poems has stayed with me even now. It’s called If and it was written in 1895. If is all about leadership and it is as poignant now as it probably has ever been. It’s worth revisiting.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

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personalI hope you’re nothing like me. If you are like me, I am very sorry because you would be doing some of the same inane, unproductive things that I do.  You would be sitting in front of your computer or your iPhone or BlackBerry tapping out incessant Facebook statuses or Tweeting on Twitter; or you might be sharing your mood with every Tom, Dick and Fiona on your MySpace page. For that matter, you might be blogging, texting, emailing, Skyping, downloading or im-ing. I’m sure I am missing something. My God, what would happen if I was statusless on Facebook? Would thousands freeze in their tracks by not knowing that I was about to have a peanut butter and banana sandwich? Would I feel less triumphant if I had no one besides my family to share it with? Or is it important now that my 6258 friends on MySpace have access to my every lucid mood?

When I think back, I realize that I have been moving in this direction for a long time. I know it didn’t just come about recently. I can remember sitting in front of my Commodore 64 with the blinking green cursor using DOS prompts to get into an IRC chat room. (If you don’t know what that means, you may be safe. ) I think back to 1984 when it may have been me and the CIA that was online. Did my unproductive behaviour then make me rich and famous now? Was I another Steve Jobs or Bill Gates in waiting? Ah. No. What was it about chatting with someone in Santa Fe, N.M. about the type of winter they were having there that had so much appeal? Wait. Now that I think about it – Santa Fe & the CIA…hmm….maybe the weather was a euphemism for something else entirely only I was an unwitting conduit for a message to someone else. Whoa.

I wonder about technology all the time and wonder if it really has made us a better nation or people. Some of it is really terrific and has made life more enjoyable. An iPod comes to mind imediately. Email has it good points and bad points but I cannot imagine living without it. I’m not sure where MySpace, Twitter, Facebook, blogging et al. fit on the productive/unproductive continuum. Are we a better world without newspapers? Can blogging or internet reporting take their place in the world? We certainly won’t have to stick  around long for that answer. Will there ever be another Beatles, Rolling Stones, Who, U2 or Radiohead? Or has the demise of the music industry due to free/pirate digital downloading killed the album and music promotion?

There is no stuffing the genie back into the bottle. We have made our bed with technology. It is here for good or until the next great application, gadget or social network superceeds it. I’m ok for now but if I read one more Facebook status that says “[Name] is chillaxing” I may just go off my Gmail.

By the way, I can be reached via Twitter on Ayewonder.

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